I should have taken the blue pill….

Remember when Neo from the movie The Matrix was given the option to take a certain color pill

Thanks to harkthegoldenbells on Tumblr

Somedays I think it would have been best to take the blue pill.

I have been thinking a lot lately about things that I know more about now then I did even just two years ago. Somedays I wake up and think man “if only I had taken the blue pill…”

I have taken the red pill on health lately. For example I know that when my back hurts I should get massage. That when my shoulder hurts I should get more massage and that my two outside fingers go numb when I have been on the computer too long. I know that many ailments can be solved with massage.

I know that some food when consumed in large quantities is extremely toxic for your gut. I know that a variety of foods do not make me feel very good. I now know that gluten is evil for a large number of people and that a diet heavy in vegetables and meats is good. (My mom probably told me that hundreds of times as a child, but that doesn’t mean I listened)

So now, knowing all of the things I know, whenever I make a food choice it is wrought with second guessing, or worse a sort of screw it all mentality. Today, I chose to eat pasta, I wanted the pasta and it was yummy. I know that the pasta is all carbs and will go straight to whatever part of my body it wants no matter how much I protest it going there. However, once you fall down the figurative rabbit hole for the day it seems to be hard to get back on course.

I know how to be healthy. I know how to lose weight. I know how to take care of what ails me. These are all things I know.

Today, I am tired of knowing, tired of telling myself that somedays you just don’t get your dreams. I have no regrets. Somedays though, I want to take the blue pill and wake up thinking I can be anything, do anything go anywhere. That my dreams can be reality.  I want to feel confident telling my children that and not feel like I am feeding them the blue pill until they are old enough to realize that they can’t be anything they want to be. I mean seriously, I should warn them not to become a rodeo clown, I don’t think the pay is good and lets not even talk about health benefits.

Ignorance truly is bliss, because somedays I still really want a Big Mac. I still eat that food somedays even though my big judgy pants have decided that it is bad for them. The judge in my head is louder than any outside judgements could possibly strive to become.

That is why today I want to take the blue pill and wake up tomorrow with no memories of all of my learning about health journey. I want to wake up, eat a steak and remember what it feels like to live in a world without self-imposed limits.

Has Pfizer invented one of those pills yet? They should really get on that….just saying.

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Morning Coffee: The Girl Next Door

I was perusing the blogs this morning and found an older article written about someone’s reaction to Super Skinny Models. I found this article fascinating because in it he references not only how models look cold but how he often looks for a girl who he thinks will eat a plate of nachos with him every once in a while. I think what got me the most about it is how he referenced that there is something about creating an ideal of the girl next door image. Chris Greenberg writes:

Since the “skinny model” is a type that I’m not particularly interested in then I’d say that I’m looking more for the “Girl Next Door.” Admittedly, I don’t entirely know what that phrase means and realize that it imposes another type of daunting standard for women — be effortlessly beautiful, but totally laid back.. oh.. and also be conveniently located. 

So, my thought is to try to define that concept a bit for Chris. I do not have a fancy title or a big desk with an awesome writing job, so take my opinion for what it is and look at it from the perspective of average American views.  Often times I describe myself as “girl next door pretty” although these days I think it’s becoming more of a soccer mom fashion look as I prepare for the core of my thirties.

So, what is the elusive girl next door look?

It appears that when you search this online you get a few options… porn, Joey Potter from the show Dawson’s Creek and a few other assorted dark-haired beauties. However, the internet is lousy with opinions on what it is and even more so on what it is not.

The girl next door to me is exactly what Chris was talking about. Someone who you feel like you have known for years but never really noticed. She is the girl who wants to eat nachos with you but still looks great when she gets up in the morning. It is a hard ideal to live up to as far as most of us females are concerned. However, I think that more women are that image than we all realize. I hope that this look is really something defined as a girl who you would not be afraid to take home to meet your mother. Her beauty is easy, casual and unassuming. Intimidation is not a concern and she is someone everyone is friends with. This statement knocks out every celebrity out there because… face it, if Katie Holmes or Olivia Wilde showed up at your local bar everyone would be in line to chat them up and see what they are about. They are all too well-known to have the girl next door thing working for them.

Beauty has and always will be a subjective concept. So, to define the girl next door I think you first have to define the following things:

1. What does this girl represent to you?

2. Would you want to take her home to meet your mother?

3. Will she really eat a burger, a plate of nachos and have a beer with you?

4. Does she look effortlessly beautiful for real? With or without makeup? First thing in the morning?

If you can find a girl who meets those concepts than I think you can say that you have found the girl who is appropriate for you. You are the person who defines her and only you can say what that concept truly means to you.

In the meantime, I am going to continue to think that I somewhat embody that stereotype. I mean a girl can dream right?

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Morning Coffee: A Reboot

We often speak about reboots. Getting a do over or finding a new place to start things all over again. Recently, juice reboots seem to be the rage. Although, I still struggle with how juice helps you loose weight since often the calorie counts seem to be harder to measure. Trust me, I have tried that for awhile and really seemed to starve. Now we just have veggie juice incorporated into our lives.


I need a reboot right?

I have been going through a reboot myself and have been dark for over the past year as I have been on journey to become a massage therapist. It was a fairly difficult journey, but I came out stronger, more educated and in many ways a very different person. Thus why this place went dead for the past year.

I have decided that it is time for this site to have a reboot or a cleanse. I will not remove the past but want to tell you more about the future.

I still imagine you will find quips about my life, husband, work and silly things I read about online, but hopefully this will turn into something pretty fascinating.

If you are still reading… I am back. Expect lots of new content.

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Morning Coffee: If Image Is Everything…

I wonder if image is everything than why are we always harping on how to have the best image? You would think that after a while people would get that they should dress nice, smell good and have excellent hygiene when they are performing tasks related to business and frankly everyday life.


I am taking an ethics course in school and it brings up this subject yet again. Is it a common theme that those involved in the massage therapy profession have issues with image?

I know that not everyone is able to apply the results once they are learned. I often see people come into job interviews wearing jeans with holes in them, skirts that are way too short and hair that could easily pass for a bird’s nest. Why would you come to an interview that way? If I can look at you and size up in the first thirty seconds that you are not taking this seriously, why should I even bother talking to you?

I think that is the same way I would feel if I was interviewing new massage therapists. This is your business and your life. If you are not always trying to sell then how do you expect to grow your business? What you project is what people will perceive you are selling, which means if you smell like death warmed over I will probably wonder what you were doing last night as opposed to what you are doing in the office today.

Your personal style should really reflect the place you work. If you have your own business then find a way to set the tone appropriately. Relaxed and comfortable does not mean wearing worn out beat up clothes into the office. It probably means finding something comfy and clean that still portrays that you are there to work. I often hear the phrase “look neat and professional” and that still feels murky to me. However, it does provide for a bit of your own style to be thrown in to the mix.

If you work for a corporation I would bet that they are going to have a dress code. That dress code is there for a reason. Probably to push the brand that they are marketing and the image they want people to see whenever you are on the clock for them. Odds are that said company would probably like it if you also looked “neat and professional” at all times so that they are portrayed properly even when you are not on the clock.  It just makes things easier and I know that if you follow the same rules off the clock then more clients will follow.

The bottom line, everything you say, and this includes online, and everything you do, are reflections of the kind of person that you will be in your business. If you can use your image to cultivate a stronger business then you have done things well. If you find that you are having trouble getting new clients in the door take a look around at your workspace, office or self and see if the image you are sending out is really what you want others to be thinking of you.

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Morning Coffee: Did I touch you yet?

Alright, I will admit I have been quiet. Maybe a little too quiet in recent days. I have found that I have very little to say because I have been too busy thinking about what I should actually say or trying to make sense of what I am really going to do with this space. My blog has become this empty block that is daunting to fill. I can spew garbage at you as it rolls out of my mouth but that is not really all that fun to read.

Plus, to be honest, I ramble… a lot.

So where do I go with this page from here? I think what I really want to do is to touch all of you, my readers, in some way that makes you feel important. I can write about fitness but that does not seem to really fit the bill here. Plus, it is being ridiculously overdone these days.

So tell me my friends what do you really want to see here? What can I write about that will find a way to touch, speak and communicate with all of you?

At the end of the day that is what communicating is all about right? Finding a way to say something that touches a person in the head, heart or spirit. Without that we are all just ramblers aren’t we.

Posted in Changes, massage, Morning Coffee, Senses, writing | Tagged , | 3 Comments

Afternoon Tea: Can Touch Inspire?

What is it about mentioning the word touch?

If you Google or Bing the word touch you get this:


Really this is what touch has become?

That is not the touch I want to talk about, I want to talk about human touch.


I had to search with the words “people touching” before I could find something even close to an image describing how touch has impacted me. The word makes me excited and it seems to make search engines choke. Clearly, the internet could use an education in touch, but a computer is just bits and pieces of code, 1’s and 0’s put in lines so that the computer can follow instructions properly.

I think of that word and it sends chills down my spine, little tiny goosebumps form all over my arms and I anticipate the excitement that is to come. The connection that soon will be flowing as I communicate in the simplest way possible. A computer does not think about those feelings or even understand the anticipation behind why touch is so important. So of course the search engine does not understand how to give me an image for this most basic form of communication.

Is touch really that simple though? As a child I remember a number of bad things that happened and fortunately none of them involved touch. I thank God for that because having a bad association with touch is not something I could handle. I remember the fights, while they were not all the time, they were always looming in the background. It is what happens to children when their parents get divorced, that tension is always there, waiting and watching until everything is ok. Then the fight pounces and all of a sudden nothing is ok.

That was when touch would always bring me back to life. No matter how upset I was or how frustrating things got someone could hug me and everything would be ok. My mother could stroke the inside of my arm and instantly I would be calm. My husband can do that now and it is like being rocked to sleep, transporting me back to when just that small touch could put me at ease.

I am the kind of person that needs hundreds of hugs a month to survive. I am the kind of woman who requires my hand hp;ding when I scared, hurt, sad or depressed. Especially, when feeling depressed.  That touch is a reassurance that everything could be better than what it is right now.

Touch is my communication. Touch is my anti-drug, sedative, pain-reliever and stress-reducer. In a world where half the things I hear, say and do are not making sense anymore, touch is what makes sense.

I can not imagine growing up or living in a world and not being able to feel things with my finger tips. I want to share this comfort with the world and make others understand the wonders that touch can provide.

How has touch impacted you?

Because at this point it is the concept of touch that I am using to inspire me to move forward with my life. Keyword searches do not make sense to me, corporate America does not make sense to me, but touch, that makes sense. It could be touching the keyboard while writing or touching someone to help heal them. Either way touch will be the driving force behind whatever will happen next.




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Morning Coffee: Winter Wonderland

How does snow impact you?




Do you have a connection with it?

Snow often times does strange things to people. In some people it instills fear because they will have to commute in it with other people who may or may not know how to handle it. In others it instills a sense of excitement, showing that winter can be beautiful or that maybe it is time for snowboarding and skiing.

Snow cause school cancellations, flight delays and traffic becomes a torrid snarl. When it falls sometimes the world stops moving. Blanketed in a quiet coat. As if it knows that the world needs to slow down and breathe for just a moment.

We all need to find time to slow down and if the snow needs to fall for it to happen, then embrace that moment and enjoy it. Watch a kid sled down a hill or think about how each flake touches the ground for just a moment before it melts or blends in with the other snow that is already there.

Let snow remind you of being young, snowball fights and forts built entirely out of the fluffy white stuff. Let it take you back to sleigh rides or watching it from inside a house with a warm fire.

Take snow for what it is, a moment to breathe.

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Morning Coffee: Can I have a keyword please?

Keywords, what do they really mean about you?

In the job search they mean that without the right ones an employer does not notice you. You scratch your head, update that resume for the umpteenth time and then you are missing that vital keyword. That key to escaping the unemployment cycle and moving on with the next part of your life.

In blogging the keyword is the thing that helps other readers find your articles. It is why there are hundreds of blogs that rattle on incessantly about SEO or the holy grail of getting readers. If you can master search engine optimization by using a handful of keywords, links and insightful images, then hundreds or even thousands of people will search, glimpse and maybe even read that blog you wrote.

However, as with any search if you over use the keyword you become obsolete often times looking like you can not actually write a post or obtain that job. You just are splashing the essential keywords and links everywhere to get people to look at you, but without content to back up those words are you ever really saying anything?

Often times in this busy “search” oriented culture I bet that people are getting missed. Excellent articles are never seen and talented potential employees do not have a shot because they have missed the point. The keyword is how you get found, and without that word, no one will look at you or ever find you.

At the end of the day having an understanding of what employers want can open doors and make getting that crucial interview possible, but if your resume lacks searchability and does not have those words you are just like the rest of us.

Sitting, hoping and waiting for someone to look at the whole picture and not just one puzzle piece.




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Morning Coffee: Healthy Vending

Can you put an organic vending machine next to a regular vending machine and truly compare the results?

Imagine these in your vending machine. Fresh, local and ready to eat.

What if all your favorite fruits and vegetables were easily accessible from a simple vending machine? What if these foods were found at a cost that is comparable to your favorite chips or candy? Would you buy them?

I have been looking for jobs that make a difference, something that when I wake up in the morning makes me proud to get out of bed. I can not help but think that I need to do something to help work on the issues of obesity, health and nutrition. Each day when I wake up I try to think of ways to make my husband excited about silly things like fruits and vegetables or even harder the dreaded brown rice. None of these things excite him but each day I want to come up with a new way to get him to eat things that are good for him.

This got me into researching companies that make a difference and that is what Fresh Healthy Vending looks like they are trying to do. Taking the concept of the vending machine and making it healthy. It appears that they are putting in products that are low in sugar, sodium and overall want to help contribute to good health.

This is the kind of place I could see waking up and working for, as long as what they say is true. If you look on their website it shows that they are trying to put healthy vending options in schools and gyms across the United States and that makes me wonder how come I have not seen them here in Seattle. I know that this state is one of the more fitness oriented states in the country so I would suspect that this company would be working to have a presence here in a place where it would hopefully be easy to see their work in action.

If Fresh Healthy Vending can accomplish their goals and teach people to go for the apple or the yogurt instead of that bag of chips, then I would be behind them 100% and ready to help them sell what they need to sell. This concept of getting healthy products to our children, friends and family is the first in a long line of steps to helping our country get back on top of the food issue.

This company could change our eating habits.

So, I challenge you, Fresh Healthy Vending, to show me how your machines are making a difference in the locations commonly reserved for beef jerky and chips. Show me what kinds of healthy foods draw are causing people to switch what they are eating out of vending machines. In return, I would be more than willing to look at your path as a direction to point myself in, and I would take the time and effort to help others look at your alternatives to the standard vending fair as good choices to make for their body, lives and self.


* Disclaimer: Fresh Healthy Vending does not pay or endorse me to write this or any article about them on this site. Though I would not complain if they did.*

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Morning Coffee: Vegetables, routines and chores

Larger children, television shows talking about losing weight and the USDA releasing new dietary guidelines should all be a clear vision of an issue that we as a country are trying to solve and then ignoring all over again.

Obesity is an epidemic but the worst part of this “epidemic” is that we are all responsible enough to prevent it. When did our lives get so busy that we no longer want to go play? Children and adults are so busy they do not have time to play. I often hear my husband say that we can do it later, it being playing. We bought ski passes this year so that we would ski more and what occurs? We are skiing less, walking less and in general finding less time to go out and explore our world.

I think that our culture wants to do better, but often is unsure how to get started. If we do get started how to we make it a routine? In making it a routine sometimes it is not fun anymore and I think that is the reason our culture looses momentum on so many wonderful activities. I know because I have hit the “wall” so many times that it has become like riding a bike. I start to exercise, get in better shape, and then I get distracted enabling all that weight loss to return as weight gain.

The new dietary guidelines have told us that we need to fill at least half of our plate with fruits and vegetables. I have at least 6 bags of frozen vegetables in my fridge and for some reason just cooking those feels like a chore. I have baby spinach and salad fixings and often times we forget about them until they have gone bad. If cooking feels like a chore to me, I wonder how many other people do not want to do this chore? Besides that fact that for some odd reason vegetables just do not taste as good as we think they should. If we could change how we felt about them then we could follow this rule and take the chore out of vegetables.

I think in previous generations cooking was not a chore, it was how the family ate breakfast, lunch and dinner.

So if we take the “chore” out of cooking and take the “routine” out of working out and playing we could solve this problem. At the end of the day we have to learn to re-associate the good back into these activities. I know a lot of people who love to cook and a fair amount who love to workout and maybe these are the people who should be re-shaping our concepts on life and how it truly should be lived.

Do you love cooking? What makes you love it?

Do you have an athletic hobby that you love? What has made it so enjoyable for you?


Posted in everday chores, Fitness, Food, Life, Morning Coffee | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments